Animal of the Week June 27, 2005 -- In memory of Richard Whitely

Dear All, this week's animal has nine letters in its name, a top score of 18 points in Countdown, or a possible conundrum: bring unto; on but ring; rung on bit; bout n ring; etc. Richard Whiteley, the host of popular tea time quiz Countdown for 23 years who died yesterday, would have, I hope, liked this animal.

THE START
Door opens on darkened indoor animal enclosure. The exibit is empty but for a keeper in a uniform sat in a chair eating a cheese sandwich.
Child: Peeeee-eugh, mum it smells
Mum: It does rather, doesn't it? What is it?
C: (pointing) Oh, look mum, up there, at the top of the tree, a bear
M: Oh yes, a small, shaggy, grey bear
Keeper: Actually, it's Arctictis binturong (binturong). Also called a bearcat
C: Oh, mum, it's a cat, not a bear
K: It's a civet, not a bear or a cat
C: But you said it was a bear cat, and a sausage dog is a dog and a fish eagle is an eagle, and a wood worm is a worm...
K: Beetle larva
C: What?
K: (agitated, the keeper might have had this conversation before) Wood worms aren't worms, and binturongs aren't cats, or bears. They are civets, small to medium sized carnivores. Binturongs are large civets that live in south east Asia. They are predominantly arboreal and they have prehensile tails. Like other civets, they have a powerful scent. Musk civets are exploited for perfume.
M: But who would want to smell like a mouldy dishcloth?
K: (almost snapping) That's musk civets, not binturongs. People don't exploit binturongs.
M: I can smell why. Come on, lets get out of here.
The mother and child leave, stepping outside to where the Oryxes are paddocked. As the door closes the keeper hears:
C: What a stinky cat, mum. Oh look, a pony with horns.
They keeper sighs and rubs his temple. THE END