Animal of the Week -- October 8, 2007

There's somebody at the door, there's somebody at the door!

Those of you who observe the days of the Saints may have marked October 4, the feast day of renowned hermit and animal lover Francis of Assisi, by having your pet blessed at your local catholic congregation on this Sunday just gone. And what pet did you have blessed? Maybe a cat or a dog, or a cat, or a dog, or another dog? Poor priests, the highlight of their day would be some batty ageing zealot bringing in a fluffy toilet-seat cover. Well, here's some wonderful news for priests in the UK, next year's animals may include any one, or perhaps all, of 33 species for which a special licence is no-longer required to keep them as pets. And what a list of species--do you fancy owning a kodkod (a miniature spotted cat), a cacomistle like Paris Hilton's Baby Luv, perhaps a raccoon called Bert, or maybe this week's animal of the week Dromaius novaehollandiae (emu).

An emu is approximately the length of a man's arm from rear to beak, its blue-purple shiny plumage and bright red neck make the bird instantly recognisable. Emu can afford to be showy and conspicuous, because its terrible temper ensures that it has no natural enemies but for a fat green witch, but when threatened the emu seeks shelter in a pink windmill with a bunch of kids and a strange old man who looks for all the world like the love child of Willy Wonker and Wurzel Gummage. JUST KIDDING, THAT WAS A KIDS TV PROGRAMME FROM MY YOUTH YOU SILLIES! (Although I didn't watch it because it was on ITV.)

At 2 m tall, emus are the largest birds of Australia and the second largest extant birds. Like their cousins, ostriches, cassowaries, rheas, and kiwis they are flightless. Rod Hull's emu, much like the man himself[thanks A Watts], was also flightless, but real emus are brown-grey with a blue-grey neck, and very rarely have a man hanging out of their bottoms...mind you, some parts of Australia are very remote and a man could get lonely. Able to run at speeds of up to 30 miles per hour for sustained periods of time, emus leg muscles make up a similar portion of their body weight as do the wing muscles of birds that have not lost the power of flight, and like turkey breasts, the legs of emus are a tasty low calorie treat. Besides their meat, emus are farmed in Australia, North America, Argentina, and Chile for their leather, feathers, eggs, and oil. Yes, their oil...used mostly in cosmetics and dietary supplements, emu oil is also thought to have anti-inflammatory properties.

So, there you go UK folks, no longer do you need to worry about getting a licence for your emu, hiding it when the inspectors come around, or insisting you only use it to watch DVDs. Get one, rejoice, and next feast day of St Francis, take it to your priest and brighten up his day with a little variety. Or simply feast on your emu if you aren't that bothered about saints.

Animal of the Week April 2, 2007 -- Troglobites

Hello,
For a change, this week's animals are unnamed. Not because I am being lazy, I am not in charge of that sort of thing, rather because I can't find the names of any of them, and they are five species! They are the five species of troglobite that have caused the Western Australia Environmental Protection Agency to halt the construction of a multibillion dollar mine at Pannawonica, in the north-western region of Pilbara.

You would be forgiven for thinking that troglobite is just another of my gross spelling errors that litter these mailouts like rare insect species over a planned development site, but no, I mean neither troglodyte nor trilobite, but troglobite: any animal adapted to live solely and exclusively within caves that can never leave. Troglobites typically have advanced senses of touch and smell but a massively reduced sense of sight, with most being totally blind. A common adaptation among troglobite spiders, such as those in those in question here, is the loss of eyes and the adaptation of the front pair of legs to become long feelers (as seen in the picture).

The troglobites halting the Robe River, a subsidiary of Rio Tinto, planned mine are spider like creatures, none bigger than half a centimetre in length, but unique to the site and not found in a neighbouring reserve protected from mine exploration. Troglobites feast on traces of organic material that drift into cave systems from the world above or algae and other microorganisms that survive within their cave systems, or in the case of spiders, other troglobites. Unable to survive exposure to direct light as they have no protection against UV rays, these troglobites would have no hope of colonising a new cave system. Every time a cave tropical system is investigated, a new set of these creatures is discovered, fish, salamanders, crickets, centipedes, insects, and shrimps have all several times moved into subterranean homes.

With iron ore set to run out in their existing mines in Australia in the next five years, Robe River will appeal hard for the mines to be built. So these spiders may not be long for this world, so I salute you little nameless, eyeless buddies. Enjoy what time you have left licking algae from the rocks and eating blind beetles in your tiny sunless world.